my life is constantly just an inner monologue of “why did I do that”
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Does anyone else have internal conversations telling yourself not to eat food or oh, maybe its ok and then snapping at yourself? All without saying a single audible word.
Eating because I’m sad,sad because I’m fat and fat because I eat.
— A novel by me
Unconventional real life *imagines*
1.) Being able to sit on a toilet without your stomach leaking forward or your thighs touching while looking huge against the toilet rim
2.) Being able to weigh yourself with shoes & all your clothes on, and after drinking water, on the bathroom scale at your friend’s place and coming back to the living room in the same mood as earlier
3.) Looking at your old photos and not really giving a fuck because that flesh prison is now gone and you are completely dissociated from that image
4.) When your non-ED friend shows off how they got back to their “high school weight”, win by telling them you got back to your 4th grade weight and they can’t argue b/c you are right
5.) Taking a shower and needing less shaving cream b/c your arms and legs barely have surface area (Lush brand shaving soap is expensive af)
6.) Being able to fill the bath with extra hot water and putting in even more bubble bath for extra scented bubbles because your wispy body takes so little space; also not seeing rolls and flesh as you get in naked and thus actually being able to enjoy your bath
7.) Any one of your friends can carry you indoors bridal style if you drank too much at the club and fell dead asleep in the uber back
8.) Being able to watch TV because you are finally thinner than anyone on TV who is not a child or a completely deformed cartoon character with no ribs
9.) Going to the shopping plaza/street with the restaurant where old-you used to always get takeout in order to binge at home with but instead you go into the tailor shop next door and ask them to make your favorite size 0 jeans smaller for you
10.) Weighing ½ as much as the average American adult and making that a fun fact trivia about yourself
Think thin. Live thin. Be thin. THIN.
I feel like on Tumblr I’m living a second life no one knows about.
This is my life. What’s a second life bcuz I don’t know it
i wish i was that girl that people get nervous around because of how intimidatingly pretty i am
Don’t you just hate being skinny fat
Like you’re not fat at all, but you’re not skinny. No one thinks you’re fat at your weight but they don’t ever say,“gosh you’re so skinny!” “Body goals!” Or anything. You’re just kinda average. That’s me…
me
Friend: Wow! Tell me how you lost so much weight?
Me: Self hatred and green tea.
